Skunk Hunt by J. Clayton Rogers

Author:J. Clayton Rogers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: treasure hunt mystery, hidden loot, hillbilly humor, shootouts, robbery gone wrong, trashy girls and men, twin brother, greed and selfishness, sex and comedy, murder and crime

CHAPTER 19

I don't know why she had that look on her face. She recognized Dog from the farm, but her back had been turned when he burst out of my bedroom closet and by the time she glanced around he was out the door. I told her it had been a stranger, which nonplussed her to the point of indifference. She seemed to think strangers (or strangeness) was endemic to my house. And it couldn't be jealously. I mean, it wasn't like we were going steady. I hadn't pledged my troth or any other part of my anatomy. And Monique wasn't strictly naked. Legally defined naked, true—when she jumped off my lap, a rather vital pasty drifted to the floor like an uncrumpled fifty-dollar bill. I don't think I had loosened it, but you can never tell with men.

Kendle was starting to go cockeyed, her ears rolling out the red carpet for an explanation. Then she saw the gun on the desk and her hand drifted towards her waist—wherever that was.

"No need," Carl assured her. "I was just showing Todd here our armory."

"Yeah?" said Kendle, though she was looking at Monique, who was quite a sight as she leaned down for the pastie, displaying some of the serpentine litheness of her stage profession. I wondered if Kendle was lining up a painful schedule of diet and exercise along with her field of fire, a normal enough reaction to physical perfection. I always imagine a tough regimen of weights and aerobics while hunched over my chips during NFL halftime.

"You mind stepping away from the desk, sir?" said Kendle, re-focusing on the real threat. Because she had to shout over the Russian music, which was reaching a climax, she sounded more threatening than she needed to. Or maybe she hit just the right chord. Carl jumped away from the desk as though it was a gargantuan hot potato. Personally, I wished she paid more attention to Dog. There was no telling how he would react.

After a quick glance down for any unsightly evidence that I had been in the lap of luxury, I stood and held out my arms. When it looked like she might draw down on me, I lowered them and sat back down.

"They..." I began.

"Kidnapped you?"

I was suddenly and inexplicably unsure of how my day had gone. Sure, Carl and Dog had kidnapped me. But I didn't understand what they had kidnapped me for. They hadn't asked me about the money from the pump house. They hadn't mentioned Barbara or Jeremy. They seemed to think I had broken some sort of agreement of which I was completely unaware. And I was really befuddled by this 'Todd' business. Who the hell was he, and had he signed a contract? If that was the case, they were SOL. My name was Mud.

"Pretty cushy," said Kendle, who then winced, as if sorry about her choice of words.

I scooted a little to the side to display the uncushioned chair I was seated on.

"Yeah, you've had it rough.

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